The Pleasure For Health Podcast

Imprinted Memories

I’ve been pondering the idea of how we are all connected. Not just in the usual way we might talk about connection in the present time, but connected throughout history.

We have been asked by the indigenous people of this country, to have an awareness of the ancestors, the people that have walked on this land before us, the tribes of indigenous people who lived where today we have built our towns and cities.

How do we honour these people? How do we create relationships or connections with them?

Getting a black belt in life

How do you get a black belt in life and why would you want to?

I was sitting in the cafe pondering on my last few years, and since this month, we are dealing with self esteem and how this either makes or breaks our pleasure and our relationships, I decided to write about getting a black belt in life.

Feeling "not good enough" is a cultural phenomenon

Why do we suffer from this crippling feeling of never being good enough? Where does it come from? And more importantly, how do we get rid of it?

Divorce the story and marry the truth

Whatever you need to do, divorce the story and marry the truth.

This saying struck me recently as being a great mantra to live by. We make up so many stories, about ourselves, about why we are in the place we are, about what people think of us, about what we are destined to do. Most of us live in our stories all of the time!

Can't you just be logical?

Ok guys, this one is for you.

Let me tell you a little story and you see if it sounds like something you have experienced.

It’s your wife’s birthday (sub in ‘girlfriend’, ‘partner’ if needed ) and you, thinking you are ahead of the game, smugly ask a week or so in advance, what she’d like as a present. Score one for you right? You’re on the ball, you are thinking of her, you are asking what she likes. What could go wrong?

Ignorance, Betrayal & Your Body

I recently had a friend who has been blessed with pretty great physical health for most of his life; a couple of small day surgeries, a minor motorcycle incident, a bit of a struggle with keeping a healthy weight and exercising regularly, but overall, in pretty good shape; ‘suddenly’  struck down with severe pain. He couldn’t remember doing anything to cause this sudden onset, and he was pretty shaken with how much of life became intolerable, due to this pain.

I see this happen, again and again, in my practice, people who have never had an issue physically, suddenly get sick, or experience pain, and they don’t know what to do. It’s as if they have been living with a body all these years but never paid attention to it.

Sound like a familiar relationship pattern?

Cinderella Syndrome

How many of you dreamed of being Cinderella when you were little? Come on, admit it...you secretly dressed up in your prettiest party outfit with a crown made from your Mom’s brooch or something like that. You danced your way around the living room, sashaying and curtsying to an imaginary court. The ultimate goal of the entire story was to attract the handsome Prince and then live happily ever after in wedded bliss.

The True Challenge of Equality

A passion of mine is to work towards true equality and understanding between people of different gender, sexuality, race, financial means, ability. This may seem like a big dream, and it is, but it is also possible if we change a few beliefs. Our culture is built on inequality, and competition feeds the feeling that only one side can win, and if you’re not winning then you are losing.

Every body is unique

I wanted to touch on something that really stuck in my mind from recent teachings...

“There is often more difference between people’s genitals that are the same gender than there are between people of different genders.”

So what does that mean? Well, to put it simply, it means we are all different. No surprise there in our heads, but then, Why do we insist on ‘teaching’ about sex, as if we are all the same?

Prioritizing Pleasure

I have decided to take the month of April and describe a little bit of my journey as I begin my advanced training in Somatic Sex Education. After my first week of exploring gender, I peeked ahead to look at our next assignment. My first thought was.... AWESOME!

 

The task was to make time for four personal erotic exploration sessions within a week.

 

Best homework ever, right?

 

My body was excited, I was excited. It was permission to spend time pleasuring myself! I’m really not sure why I needed permission, but it felt fun and liberating to have it ‘assigned’ as homework.

 

Then I looked at my schedule for the coming week. (For those of you who don’t know me personally, I’m kind of a workaholic. Plus I singlehandedly nurture and support four young women, my daughters). This was going to be impossible!!

Fortunately, my stubbornness kicked in at this point, and I began to secretly plan all the moments that I could get away on my own, or at least think my own thoughts, in the coming week. I blocked off an hour at work here, I carved out a half hour there. I was determined to get my four sessions in! I decided my intention could be to explore how to make time for my sexual self, as a busy, single, working mom.

 

The first time slot came, I had just managed to get two kids off to school, and a third off to work. The oldest had gone back to her apartment for the week. I had an hour before I had to leave for work. Perfect!

 

I finished the last dregs of coffee, left the dirty dishes on the counter, and ran downstairs to my room. I could feel my excitement mounting with the thought of what was to come. I found a recording of Rumi poetry I had decided to listen to as I love the idea of spirituality and sexuality coming together. I stripped off and climbed under the covers as it was kind of chilly. Ahhh.... nice.

 

Then, my phone beeped a text message. Ugh, I picked it up, wondering who DARED to interrupt my precious alone time. It was the landlord, saying he would be over in 10 minutes to look at the furnace.

 

Ten minutes!! That was not long. I was disappointed that my first session was to be curtailed already, but I was far enough along that I decided to complete my ‘exploration’. I can’t say that there wasn’t some added intensity, knowing that I could be interrupted by the landlord at any minute.

 

I pulled on my clothes and slightly out of breath ran up to answer the door a few seconds later. I had to chuckle inside at the way the universe had such a twisted sense of humour. Was it too much to ask, for a brief time to enjoy myself? I shook my head, and carried on with my day. I did feel a low-level buzz from the whole thing, which was kind of cool in its own way. And hey, this is the reality of modern-day life!

 

The rest of my week was not much better. Although after learning from my first escapade, I booked an entire morning off work one day and made up for lost time. It was extremely hard to fit in four sessions in a week, even for me, a dedicated sexual enthusiast! I did, at least, have direct experience of how our sex lives can be derailed so easily. Without commitment and perseverance and a good sense of humour, life can get in the way for all of us.

 

And this, I decided laughingly, was my lesson for week two. Making time for sex and pleasure takes making it a priority!

So, you know what to do (wink) Prioritize!

 

With pleasure,

Ailsa