We are all going through a stressful and fearful time right now and this is having real, long term effects on our ability to be present and loving in our relationships. Join me for a discussion on how trauma affects our ability to be intimate and also what we can do about it.
What is the difference between the 'fawn' trauma response and flirting? How can we tell the difference in our interactions with others and in our own bodies? Fawning, as a response to feeling unsafe, is the act of excessive people pleasing that can lead us to become involved in abusive relationships patterns.
Inanna in this piece, so the interpretation goes, is not a `whole person' until she appears vulnerable before her `darker half', dies, and returns to life. At the poem's end, this interpretation asserts, Inanna, through her descent into darkness, the shedding of the trappings of her former self, confrontation with her `shadow', death of who she was, and final re-birth, is now a complete individual, wholly aware. Join me for a discussion, reading and a practice to glean the lessons from this story that resonate with many of our own inner journey's, even today. This is aimed at women but is completely relevant to any gender.
How do you answer the question, 'what do you want in bed'? Sometimes learning about our arousal and desires takes some work. Join me for a discussion and a guided exercise to discover what turns you on and what doesn't.
Making a choice can be complex. Which part of us is in the driver's seat? What are our motivations and desires? Are we in integrity or do we have conflicting wants? When we take time to explore how we make choices and which part of ourselves is making the choice, we can become aware and really take responsibility for our choices in our relationships.
We can learn everything these days, from building a chicken coop to writing a book, but learning about Sex or Relationships is still a taboo thing. Why would we want to hire a sex coach and how should we value this type of learning?
These days there is much to negotiate in our intimate relationships. We're all still in a state of fight or flight, making us more susceptible to arguments and generally feeling more stressed out which only makes these fights harder to navigate. People are discussing important topics like how to navigate Covid and health related issues, as well as socializing, mask wearing and other important social questions right now. Let's look at this from the lens of consent and how to negotiate a consensual agreement that can work for both parties.
Shame is a self-absorbed, self-centred and isolating experience so how do we show up to our intimate relationships if we hold a lot of shame in our bodies? How can we work to shift this Shame experience that often leads to a fight or flight response because we feel our relational bonds are threatened. If we stay in shame we are profoundly unable to engage in a healthy attachment with people around us.
Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com
Grieving goes through a cycle: denial, pain, anger, depression, upward turn and working through and finally hope. How does this play out in our intimate relationships and how can we more consciously work with these stages to build more intimacy.
How can we get our nervous system back on track and feeling 'safe enough' to reach out and connect with people again after so much collective stress? Join me for some tips on re-starting your ventral vagal system to find pleasure and contact.